Noah's Flood

Noah's Flood is one of the sickest stories in all of fiction. It is a story of satanic evil. Any God that did such a thing should be killed not worshipped.

It is little comfort that no such God exists in reality and the Flood never happened. The fact is, this story is in the Bible and we are meant to admire the God that did it.

God aborted every fetus on earth, and killed their mothers.
The fucking bastard.
From here.

Why the Flood story is a lie

Of course, the Flood never happened. The whole story is made-up.

Flood myths
The Genesis flood myth
Noah's Ark
The pseudoscience of "Flood geology"
TalkOrigins Archive explains why the Flood story is a lie:
- Flood FAQs
- Why the Flood is a lie by Mark Isaak
- Creationist claims about the Flood by Mark Isaak
- Why the Flood is a lie by Jim Meritt
RationalWiki lists the impossible problems with this ludicrous story:
SkepticReport
- List of Flood Problems
- Noah and his Ark: A critical examination. "By my calculations, it would have had to be at least twice the size the Bible claims - just to hold the beetles."
The Skeptic's Dictionary
the-militant-atheist.org

NonStampCollector hilariously shows some problems with the Flood story.

Part 2.

Why the fuck did Noah save the mosquitoes?
From here.

No, seriously, why did Noah save the mosquitoes?
From Bill Gates.

No one in the world noticed that it was destroyed

Ancient civilizations seemed not to notice that the earth was destroyed, and they just carried on as usual. Tough guys!

26th century BC
25th century BC
24th century BC - Creationists claim with a straight face that a global flood happened in this century, despite the fact that cities carry on, kingdoms carry on, and no one in the world seems to notice.
23rd century BC
22nd century BC

Ancient Egyptians were such tough guys!

Ancient Egyptians carrying on with life and ignoring the Flood is a bit like how the people of Ancient Sumer must have felt when God suddenly turned up to "create the world" around 4000 BC.
As The Onion says: "The Sumerian people must have found God's making of heaven and earth in the middle of their well-established society to be more of an annoyance than anything else."

Dildos are older than the universe.
This dildo dates from around 26,000 BC.
From here.

The morality of the Flood

The worst thing about the Flood myth is not its ludicrousness, but its morality.

In revenge for alleged sins committed by some adults, God drowns millions of innocent babies, toddlers and children. He is the greatest abortionist ever. He is the worst child killer ever. The children drown in terror, screaming for their mothers and fathers, all because of the anger of this evil cosmic bastard. If a God like that existed, I would not worship him. I would try to kill him.

It is not a nice story for animal-lovers either. God drowns quintillions of animals in the greatest act of animal cruelty ever.

It is the greatest act of ecological destruction ever. In order to "save" the planet, the murdering alien bastards in The Day the Earth Stood Still at least just killed the humans. But God is even worse. He kills all animal and plant life too. He destroys every eco-system on the planet because of his infantile anger.

Yes, of course, none of this ever happened. It is fiction. But the morality of the story is still sickening.

Human population of the world at the time of the alleged Flood: Around 20 million humans.
Estimated number of animals in the world (would be similar today to back then): Maybe 10²⁰ animals (i.e. quintillions).
Names of large numbers:
- A billion is 10⁹.
- A trillion is 10¹².
- A quadrillion is 10¹⁵.
- A quintillion is 10¹⁸.
Bill Maher, Mar 2014, has a scathing rant about the morality of the Flood: "You know, conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality. Well maybe it's because you worship a guy who drowns babies."
Christian extremist Tristan Emmanuel, 28 Mar 2014, is offended. He openly wishes Bill Maher could be flogged for blasphemy for criticising the imaginary being "God". He appeals to old blasphemy laws, which is pretty ironic since he is a Protestant. Under the old laws he would be burnt at the stake for denying Papal authority.
The movie Noah (2014)
- The 2014 movie takes the ludicrous drivel of the Bible story and makes it into even more ludicrous drivel, if that were possible. Christians complain that this made-up story is different to their made-up story. I despise both stories.
- Ronald A. Lindsay, 1 Apr 2014, says religious leaders are missing an opportunity to condemn the genocide and depiction of an evil God in the Noah story. "Wouldn't it be a wonderful thing for the Pope, the Archbishop of Canterbury and other respected leaders to issue a joint statement declaring the Noah story to be a pernicious fable, not to be taken seriously by believers today? This would be morally edifying, and, of course, would put those coarse New Atheists in their place. But we know this is not going to happen."
- David Sessions, 30 Mar 2014: "Walking out of our screening of Noah last week, one of the first things I said to my colleague was, "I think the moral of the story was that God is evil."" Well, whatever about the movie, that's the moral of the Bible story alright.
- The director himself notes that Noah didn't care about drowning babies: "Noah is saving the animals; he's not out there saving innocent babies, he's saving the animals".

Noah's Flood - because the genocide of 20 million humans and the drowning of quintillions of animals is funny.
(Actually, and incredibly, it wouldn't be the largest genocide in history. Mao, Stalin and Hitler all killed more. But it would be the most thorough genocide in history.)
From here.

A world apparently of only adults:
This Christian picture does not have the guts to show the drowning children.
From here.

Not so squeamish in the 19th century:
Gustave Doré's illustrated Bible shows loving parents trying desperately to save their children from the evil bastard God.
See original. From here.

"Noah receiving the dove back to the Ark" (c.1863) by Edward Burne-Jones.
The drowned bodies seem to include a pterodactyl and a dinosaur.
From Victoria and Albert Museum.

A mother tries desperately to save her baby from the evil monster God.
From The Brick Testament.

The saved animals watch all the other animals drown.
By Flora Turcinovic.

From Awkward Bible.

From here.

Well done God for getting rid of all the evil people!
See PNG. From here.

The tsunami scene in the movie The Impossible (2012), about the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.
Imagine a God that did this sort of thing on purpose.
What other word could there be for that God except evil.

Heart-breaking scene in The Impossible where the children find each other again.
Humans are so much better than Jehovah.

"Then at last, Noah sailed; and none too soon, for the Ark was only just sinking out of sight on the horizon when the monsters [the dinosaurs] arrived, and added their lamentations to those of the multitude of weeping fathers and mothers and frightened little children who were clinging to the wave-washed rocks in the pouring rain and lifting imploring prayers to an All-Just and All-Forgiving and All-Pitying Being who had never answered a prayer since those crags were builded, grain by grain, out of the sands, and would still not have answered one when the ages should have crumbled them to sand again."
- Mark Twain, Letter V of "Letters From The Earth" (1909).